Wanted: The Plastic Imposter

Wanted: The Plastic Imposter


Be on the lookout for a plastic ventriloquist doll that goes by the name of Dale. He is telling people that he is a blogger and asking for hugs. “Do not” fall victim to this very clever entertainer and his smooth talk. He has been known to creep onto his human’s laptop while she is sleeping and bad-mouthing her on various post to her blog. He is not a true blogger and needs a human to help him with his crimes.

Now that the human and her friend are doing a hug-a-blogger blog and book, he wants to be featured. He is hugging any human that comes to visit and continues to feature himself on the blog in order to make his point, “I am a blogger”.


He is described as barely 2 feet, red plastic hair, prominent nose, blue eyes, and a smart ass grin with a deformed bottom lip. He was last seen wearing a black, grey, and white button down plaid shirt, tan pants, and black socks. He is usually sitting on his human’s steamer trunk near her front door but is known to slip out during the night to post something to the blog or watch his human’s horror flicks while she sleeps.

If you see this little booger, please report him immediately to the Blogger Police. We must stop his shenanigans.


*NOTE: I’m not scared of Dale most of the time. When we are in a dark room and I don’t know where the little beast is, scares me the most. I am waiting for the day that he comes up behind me and says, “Hi Julie, whacha doing?” After that, there will be a loud scream followed by smoke from me running so fast, my shape in the door because I ran through it, followed by a stream of wet from me pissing my pants.
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