1. Hunting camels is prohibited. (Good, I wouldn’t want to see a dead camel head in a den.)
2. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. (Is pink ok?)
3. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. (Only 5 years for kicking it.)
4. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. (What if he falls asleep while taking a bath?)
5. A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is “likely to provoke physical retaliation”. (You can yell like a sailor all you want and not get fined.)
6. It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. (The real stuff is ok.)
7. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posses. (“Excuse me, can I have your gun so I can shoot you, thanks.”)
8. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. (This makes sense since it gets to over 110 frickin' degrees here in the summer.)
9. You may not have more than two dildos in a house (Who is going to check this out, the Dildo Police?)
10. In Globe, cards many not be played in the street with a Native American. (What about the sidewalks, are they ok?)
11. In Hayden, if you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined. (Does that include teasing them?)
12. In Maricopa County, no more than six girls may live in any house. (With only two dildos? I’m not going there, lol)
13. In Mesa, it is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license. (Whatever!)
14. In Mohave County, a decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash him with it until it is all used up. (A clean getaway, NOT!)
15. In Nogales, an ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders. (Looks like Larry King will not be welcomed there.)
16. In Prescott, no one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house. (They have no one who will clean up the poop.)
17. In Tempe, one must be 18 years old to buy spray paint. (You have to be an adult to tag these days.)
18. In Tombstone, It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than on missing tooth visible when smiling. (What fur, we ain’t done nuttin’ wrong. Go git my wife/sister to hurry with the vittles.)
19. In Tucson, women may not wear pants. (Pants or panties? Perhaps both?)
*NOTE: I usually don’t post controversial pieces but with the Senate Bill 1070 making a huge stink with everyone, I will post my opinion later when the PMS kicks in…
